Some
pills would be difficult to swallow because of their bitter
taste. That is why they have an outer layer of sugar (a “sugar
coating”). We are grateful to one
of our clients for pointing out that “sugar
coating” is a fundamental characteristic
of American communication.
In American culture, we risk being considered rude if we speak too directly and honestly. When we make requests, we go beyond simply saying “please.” When we disagree, we are careful to express ourselves to avoid any possibility of offense. Even when we refuse an invitation or an offer of assistance, we do so in a way that is sure to express a pleasant feeling.
More than in some other cultures, we say “Thank you!” in stores, restaurants, and in response to the smallest offer of assistance. When we buy something, we often say “Thank you,” after we pay and the clerk gives us the merchandise.
When we want something, we seem to ask polite permission. In a restaurant, we may say, “May please I have another glass of wine?” rather than simply “Another glass of wine, please.”
If we are not in agreement, we make an effort to make the disagreement more palatable. If someone asks, “How do you like my new necktie?” we would never say so if we don’t like it. Rather, we might tell a “white lie” (a polite, harmless lie) like “It looks great!” Or if we want to avoid a “white lie,” we could simply say, “It’s so unusual. I never saw anything like that. Where did you get it?”
“Sugar coating” is something worth paying attention to. In American culture we do it unconsciously and automatically. If you are new to our culture, increase your awareness of this vital aspect of American communication.